It's Worth The Change

Yesterday I went to see my doctor for my annual check up. She happened to ask me how I'm feeling emotionally,  if I've had any depression or not. I told her yes, I Was getting there but wasn't anymore as of very recently (constantly taking care of everyone else and never myself along with lack of sleep for four months straight can do that to a gal). She then proceeded to say, "Well, if you notice yourself starting to get that way again let me know and we can get you into counseling or prescribe you some medicine." SO, this is where my dumbfounded look comes into play. Medicine? Medicine??? How about exercise or a change in diet to start with? Whyyy would you want to put a foreign little pill in your system that could take months to work, ( if it does at all),  and risk taking on possible uncomfortable or even dangerous side effects? Is it for convenience since maybe eating healthy or working out takes some effort? Sure, that makes sense but as someone who's been on many different antidepressants before (crappy childhood into adulthood), that sh*t doesn't work by itself, and again, if at all! Before 5 days ago I was so incredibly down. I was to the point where I dreaded waking up and starting my days. I was so pissy, moody, sad, edgy, intolerant and inpatient. I had turned into a wife I didn't like and a the type of parent I despised. I was snapping at my husband constantly and was grabbing my child hard by the arms and having screaming episodes when she was being defiant. THAT is Not okay!! It is not OK to live that way and feel that way. Not at all!

Thankfully, things have changed completely for the better. I feel amazing. I have so much more energy, I feel empowered, I'm Happy (yay!), I'm smiling and I'm playful, I'm much more patient and more tolerant, I think before I act, I feel so much more loving and connected to my kids and husband, and I even feel ambitious about my future. So, what has changed? ...My Diet! :) Before 5 days ago my diet consisted of meat, breads, pastas, sweets, and processed foods with very little fruits and veggies. I also relied on coffee to get me through the day. At night, while feeding Kayden I have been watching several very informative and entertaining health documentaries on Netflix. They were so convincing, inspiring, and encouraging on how to take better care of oneself and adjust your diet accordingly. I didn't waste anymore time. I knew I had to do something different for the sake of myself and my family. Without hardly any effort I have stopped eating meat, dairy, processed foods, and sweets. I stopped drinking coffee as well. I have strictly been drinking almond milk and water, eating whole grains, nuts, seeds, beans, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. It is incredible to experience and feel the changes that I do all from adjusting what I put in my body. It hasn't even been a week. Can you imagine what I'll feel like once I start working out?

I'm sure I'll face some obvious challenges along the way, at least at first until I become completely adjusted, but feeling this great and being a better person, wife and parent is so worth it. I know the changes in my diet will benefit me in the long run too. It will help prevent me from taking on diseases or illnesses later in life such as cancer or diabetes, etc. I have no intentions on trying to lose weight because I'm only 112 lbs. If anything I'm going to double up on calories and healthy fats in order to gain weight and maintain it, but for those of you who are overweight and looking to shed those pounds then this would definitely be a healthy way to go in order to do just that.

I'm excited about the Now and I'm excited about my future. I challenge you to take control of your life and make the necessary changes that can and will make you fulfilled and happy. 

Goodbye With the Old, Hello to the New!

Goodbye With the Old, Hello to the New!

There are going to be people, things, and situations in life that are really going to test you. These can  bring you to your lowest point. It could be the economy, friends, work, an addiction, family members, significant others, feelings of resentment, etc. While we do tend to learn lessons and become stronger individuals in the long run because of it it still doesn't mean we don't hurt in the mean time. What we have to realize though is that we are actually in control of what or who affects us. 

How long are you going to allow yourself to be a victim? How long are you going to allow yourself to be sad or angry? Why do we do this to ourselves? It doesn't feel good; it doesn't benefit our well being. Some of us can barely get through a day when we carry all of this weight. Sometimes you just have to get to the point where you stand up for yourself and know that you deserve to be free and to be happy.

How can new and beautiful, pleasant things happen for you in your life or come into your life if you're still holding on to the old? What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to let go of? 

Whoever or whatever is holding you back is not worth keeping you from enjoying each and every day. Whatever the reason you are still holding on, just Let Go! Doesn't the mere thought of letting go make you feel less heavy? Doesn't it feel like a relief? If you have to go see a counselor or talk to someone just to be able to do this then Do It! If you have to go scream outside on the top of your lungs until you burst out in tears and have a huge sob fest then Do It! If you have to write a letter to the person(s) upsetting you so that you get all of your feelings out then Do It (even if you just rip it up afterwards)! You do what you have to do! Start taking control of your life and your happiness. No one else is going to do it for you. It's time you start living your life and living it peacefully. Take a chance and make a change. Be brave. xoxo

Sending you so much peace, so much love, and so much light! Sending you lots of healing!

Love,

Jess

Remember too that there's some people or some things we cannot change. We just have to let go and take control of the things we can. I leave you with this...

Sometimes the key to peace is simply this:

Stop trying to understand, control, and change everything and everyone. Just accept that somethings are as they are meant to be.

-Ashley from Angel Eyes and Monkey Toes 

 

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

 

 

What's to come in the Fall for each of us?

 What's to come in the Fall for each of us?

I LOVE that the weather is changing; it is such a mood booster! Change is definitely in the air. This new cool weather and the fact that Fall itself is just about a week away reminds me of quite a few things: caramel covered apples, skinny jeans and sweaters, pumpkins, the fair, camping, lattes, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and colorful, falling leaves. I'm sure you could come up with a few of your own as well.

Okay, here is where I go deeper in my post. As the new season approaches with much change why not make some changes for yourself? You don't need it to be New Years for a resolution(s). You actually don't need a season change, but we'll use it as an excuse this time. : ) It feels good to start fresh and take care of yourself. The world can be a heavy place that can bring you down at times. There's work, traffic, bills, family issues, relationship issues, global issues, etc. The list can go on. At some point you have to stop and take a look at your life and check to see what you're actively doing for yourself in order to stay sane and be at peace through all of the chaos.

As a stay at home mom it is very hard for me to take time out for myself to clear my head and regroup, but no matter the circumstances for any of us, we have to find the time somehow, even if it is just for a few minutes during the day or at night before we go to sleep. There's really no excuses when it comes to our well-being and happiness. I have definitely learned that much so far in motherhood and in life over all.

With that being said, what are some things you can do to help You?? Some of this can be done when you make the time for it, and a lot of this is what you can do in your life overall. Ask yourself some of these questions:

• Am I getting some exercise? (running, walking, yoga, etc.)

• Am I at least semi eating and drinking healthy? (water, fruits, veggies...)

• Am I doing something I enjoy? (reading, watching a good show or movie, painting, baking, photography, making jewelry, going to the park or bookstore, the list goes on...)

• Am I spending time with positive family members and friends?

• Am I spending some time outdoors with nature? 

• Am I being positive with my thoughts and actions? 

• Am I doing some good deeds? (randomly helping a stranger when you're out, smiling at someone who seems stressed, picking up trash you see on the side of the road, things like that...)

• Am I getting out my feelings? (Don't let your feelings build up. Write in a journal, vent to a friend, or even start a blog.)

• Am I living in the moment? (This is a hard one, but try not to hold onto things from the past if you can help it. What matters is the Now.)

• Who do I need to forgive? (Do you need to forgive yourself? Do you need to forgive someone else? This can be tough too, but holding onto resentment, anger, and bitterness only hurts You in the long run. It is Not fun having those feelings inside. Not fun at all! Free yourself from the pain if you can. Remember also that just because you forgive someone for something they said or did at some point does not mean they still have to be in your life. That's always your choice. Do what feels right for you.)

I am sure there's more things to think of in order to make sure you are taking care of yourself, but these are a few to think about. As I have most certainly gathered, when you're not taking care of yourself, you're not at your best. When you're not at your best, a lot can get under your skin and bring you down. When you're not at your best you can't be there for others like you want or need to as well. Always make sure you're looking out for You (not just everyone else), and the rest of the world around you will be a lot more breezy and peachy. This I promise. You may even seem like you're on a natural high a lot of the time (and it's going to feel Reallllly good).

I sure hope this helps for those finding yourself reading this.

Lots of love and light,

Jess

A Happy, Healthy Love

True Love really Does exist!!!

I chose to write about this for my first blog because meeting my husband has been one of the greatest, most joyful blessings in my life.

I can sit here and write about each of the guys I've dated, what we went through, and why it didn't work out, but instead of sharing That novel (or for now anyway) I'll just say that before I met my husband, I never felt certain or sure that any guy was The One.

I was at a huge turn around in my life during the time I met Andrew. I had stopped drinking just months prior and had for the first time ever gotten to a point where I felt happy with myself and more than okay to be single. (Up until then I had a boyfriend consistently since I was 16). Although I wasn't looking for it at all it was the perfect time to meet a guy (if it were to happen) for the simple reason being that I knew if I were going to be in a relationship it would be a healthy one. It would be a healthy one because I was finally healthy all around, and I knew I definitely wouldn't settle with a guy this time either.

I met Andrew Francisco Shearin on April 3, 2010, the day before Easter. I was visiting my older sister, Tabitha at her rented town home with my younger sister, Sheena and her husband, Steven for a small cookout. Tab and Andrew lived only a couple of doors down from each other. They met through a mutual neighbor, and Tab had invited Andrew to stop by and join us. When Andrew knocked on the door my sis asked me to greet him while she was prepping food in the kitchen. When I opened the door, there he stood, a nicely muscular shaped, dark featured, unique, model-like looking guy with a sweet, innocent smile. (Ohh boy.) I was smiling back but I couldn't help but look down and then proceed to let him in. I felt an immediate extreme attraction and didn't want my face turning bright red because his beauty and presence were a bit overwhelming.

The five of us sat outside while Steven cooked out on the grill. I remember asking Andrew for tips on working out because it was obvious he worked out himself, and I had literally just signed up for a gym membership. Listening to and watching him respond was so pleasant. He had such a calm, refreshing demeanor to him. I could tell he was just a little shy, and it was cute. Throughout the night I was finding out that besides the fact he was gorgeous and worked out, he also owned a town home, lived by himself, had a government job as an IT manager, was single (yes!), liked really good indie bands, sang and played guitar *beautifully*, and didn't drink or use drugs. What was not to like about him? He seemed like a really nice guy and for the most part like no one I had ever met. I was really impressed.

To put into words what I was feeling that night is almost unexplainable quite honestly. Looking at Andrew, being around him, hearing about his life, listening to him talk, listening to him sing, and play the guitar was All magical and heavenly. I felt like the thought of Us Together was heavenly! I felt such a strong connection with him. There was complete magic in the air! It was as if a handful of angels had brought us together. I didn't quite understand at the time what I was feeling because I'd never felt that way before.

When it was time for all of us to leave I remember both Andrew and I smiling and giving a big hug to each other like we were both expressing that we were really into each other and had a good time. I Knew I Had to contact him that night as soon as I got home. I Had to talk to him! I had to have more of Andrew Shearin! I found him on Facebook and messaged him. (We didn't exchange numbers prior because my sis, Tab was originally semi into him...but that's another story, LOL!) We talked on Facebook for a couple of hours late into the night. He gave me his number and I gave him mine.

The next day was Easter and from that day forward we were texting and calling each other on a daily basis. Our first date was at PF Changs (where we actually still go on special occasions to to celebrate our love. Hehe). We hung out multiple times of the week. I would mostly go see him at his place. When it was time for me to leave we would stand outside of my car talking, hugging, and kissing for hours unable to say goodbye. (It was pretty rough getting up for work each morning). Every time he kissed me I felt like I was going to float away. I fell for him So fast! I was falling in love with a man I Knew I was supposed to be with and Had to be with Forever. I'd never felt it before, and I didn't want it to end. Every time I was around him I wanted to tell him I loved him so badly that my heart actually physically ached. I was too scared to tell him because I'd never said those words to a guy first and never whole heartedly meant them like I knew I would if I said them to him. Once we did start saying, "I love you!" it was great and a relief to my heart. Throughout our relationship we would do nice little things for each other to show that we cared. We saw multiple rainbows within just a couple of months of dating. It was odd but really neat! I definitely felt like it was a sign from God telling us that what we have is quite special. I think he/she wanted us to know that we finally found our Mr./Mrs. Right. 

Four months into dating, it was August, and I had just happily moved in with him. I was about to finish a pack of birth control when Andrew told me he would be fine if I didn't buy a new pack. He wanted to start a family. I wasn't scared at all by his comment because having a baby was my dream, and I loved him SO much that I felt we were always going to be together. I told him that I would prefer to be married of course before we took such a huge step. He agreed with me. I think it was about a week or two later that I came home from work to a huge decorated sign asking me to marry him. : ) We got married on September 24th, 2010 (5 1/2 months after dating) and conceived our Precious baby, Kaylee towards the end of October.

We are about to celebrate our 2nd year anniversary, and I Know with all of my heart that we will always be together! I'd never felt this way until I met him. No one is perfect. I'm not perfect, and Andrew isn't perfect. We have our married couple tiffs here and there (definitely small ones though), especially under the pressure of being parents and not having a lot of alone time together, but Andrew is surely perfect for me. I know we will be able to get through anything that comes our way, and we will be here to support each other. Andrew is one of a kind. He's one of the sweetest, most sensitive guys I've ever known. I never had the privilege of feeling or knowing that true love existed, but now I do. It is a beautiful, indescribable feeling, and I am so grateful to have him as my friend, husband, and Kaylee's dad.

I love you Andrew Francisco Shearin!! : ) : ) : )

As an ending note for others, True Love on a romance level really does exist. It's a good love. It's a love of kindness, sacrifice, respect for each other, trust, wanting to see the other happy and to succeed, it's supporting each other, admitting when you're wrong, trying to be as patient as possible with the other, wanting to keep the peace, and so much more. From what I have learned it happens when it is meant to, and for me it was when I was no longer co-dependent and I was finally happy with who I was and where I was in life. It happened when I wasn't even looking for it. If you're meant to meet and be with the one you're supposed to spend forever with then you Will! Have faith in that. We all have a plan. In the mean time, just continue to have a special relationship with yourself figuring out who you are and taking time out for you without relying on another person to make you happy. If you're already with someone and you're not happy being with them and don't feel like they're the one, then please don't just sit back waiting for something to change. Life is exactly what you make it, and it won't get better or go the way you want it to unless you help it yourself. Change can be scary, but it can also be very worth it in the long run.